Joel F. Wade, Ph.D.
I’ve been working with people as a teacher, therapist, counselor, life coach, and consultant for over 40 years. The great blessing of my working life is that I get to see the depth and unseen courage of many hundreds of unique souls, and have the honor of helping them become more deeply themselves; mastering the skills of a more authentic, satisfying, loving, and successful life.
Inspired by my original mentors, Nathaniel and Devers Branden, I first started working with clients in 1981, a very long time ago! I’ve worked primarily as a Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Los Gatos, California, as a consultant, and as a teacher of graduate students and therapists. About 15 years ago I began also working as a Life Coach.
From the perspective of over 40 years in my profession, my life’s work has and continues to be helping people to become more fully themselves. Not according to somebody else’s ideals, not in the manner of a cookie cutter of superficial advice; but what it means for us to make the most of our gifts and limitations, to live authentically and connect deeply with the important people in our lives, and to create and embody a truly wonderful life.
We all share many similarities of course, but our internal worlds are vast and unique, and what we can create together with the other special people in our lives is so varied and complex that it’s nearly beyond imagining. Leaning into curiosity, kindness, and playfulness with each other is what allows us to keep that creative, loving, and joyful process growing throughout our lives – and to build the resilience and support to overcome our hard times and challenges.
My work today as a Marriage and Family Therapist and Life Coach is also to help you to reach for your goals in the service of creating your best life, given the realities of your circumstances, strengths, and genuine limitations. Of course, many of our limitations can be self-imposed, through habits, biases, or beliefs that make our field of possibilities seem much smaller than they truly are.
(For info on my consulting work, see the Business page)
I’ve been fortunate to have been able to travel extensively over the years. I have seen and experienced the tremendous variety of ways there are of living well – and poorly. But also, the great common ground of human existence. The specifics are as varied as the people who have evolved around the barrenness of the Kalahari Desert to the richness of the Amazon jungle. Regardless of the environment, though, the deep satisfactions of life center on common themes that are intrinsic to human nature: love, friendship, community, resilience, absorption in one’s activities, mastering one’s impulses, and finding and building a sense of meaning and purpose in life.
I’ve played competitive water polo for many years, playing at UC Santa Barbara on their 1979 NCAA championship team, captaining their league champion team of 1981, training with the US National team, and then continuing at the master’s level winning multiple national and world championships over the years.
From these experiences, and through my professional work, I know what it means to be passionate and devoted to a course of action, what it takes to see it through to success, and what resilience and gratification – and great fun – can be borne of such dedication.
I see happiness – true happiness and well being, not simply the happiness of feeling good in a lucky moment of pleasure – as a set of skills, a practice and an attitude toward life that can be learned and applied within whatever circumstances we are in.
Through my work as a Therapist, Life Coach, consultant and writer, I get to study and investigate the research, ideas and experiences that are fleshing out what really makes a difference in human life, what brings well being, what grows happiness, and what contributes to a more benevolent and honorable world.